FTC in-btwn #10: Perfection-ISM or Perfection-ISN’T
“OK, fasten your listening seatbelt! This is a topic that has a stubborn reach, deep into our creative psyche! In a world that glorifies success & fame 24/7, perfectionism sings a siren song, saying this is the path to stellar achievement! It lures us with a tantalizing illusion of totally flawless pursuits. But this shimmering façade with neon promises has deadly consequences lurking in its shadow.
What is perfectionism? Perfectionism is a mindset of unsustainable standards, leading to self-criticism, fear of mistakes and stifled creativity. And forget satisfaction! The constant pressure to meet these crazy high standards is an invitation to a stress-fest, wreaking havoc on well-being and self-worth.
Perfectionism should come with a warning label! Too much of this, leads to chronic stress and bouts of creative destabilization.”
“So why are we drawn to perfectionism? Achievement and external validation play a role. We believe that perfection will lead to success and admiration. Now this is one I’ve struggled with: seeking approval/validation by others to fill a void in myself. If I rack up achievements, I will get approval. The thing is, as soon as you achieve one thing, you search for the next. When you link achievement with approval it is a runaway freight train of never enough!
Fear of failure demands that any deviation from perfection is a sign of inadequacy or incompetency. This one is a biggy for me! My education was a constant nightmare of humiliation. Going to parochial school, held back a grade, placed in slow classes, and being ridiculed for being a poor reader, left me feeling intellectually inferior. I am ADD and dyslexic, meaning that my brain works differently but parochial schools at that time were very rigid. So fast forward, it wasn't until I left grad school that I fell in love with reading. But in the meantime, I was terrified of failure.
I don't know about you, but I had to find a way to deal with this fear! Everybody has their own way of figuring things out. For me, my existential battleground was in my studio. I am an artist. Why have a studio if I am too afraid to fail? The studio is not outside of me, it resides in a creative strength to be vulnerable and welcome art making with all its mistakes, disasters, discoveries, and magical moments. No more, freedom doled out in self-imposed permission slips!
Perfectionism offers an illusion of control in a chaotic world - a structure for uncertainty. What’s not to like about that? It intertwines our self-worth with our ability to be perfect, and achievements become units of measure for identity. You believe that your value as a human being is based on your ability to be perfect.
You're worth as a human being has inherent value simply by virtue of being human. You are a magnificent combo plate in the diner of life- with unique qualities, quirky personality, talents, and experiences that make you -you! I digress. Back to perfectionism!
Now here’s the deadly side of perfectionism: constant stress, anxiety, second-guessing and exhaustion. Fear of failure kick-starts procrastination. If you fear failure or making mistakes, it’s easier to find excuses not to begin a task or avoid a task altogether!
I can’t tell you the number of times, when teaching art in high school and college, talented students saying they didn’t want to do a project if it couldn't be perfect. They set up this barricade of perfection that stopped them from crossing into creative risk taking and opportunities. “If it’s not perfect, I don't want to do it!”
Tying perfection to self-worth is a soul-crushing exercise that leads to a negative self-image and endless shame cycle. And who the hell made worshiping at the altar of perfection a necessary step to being creative? Perfectionism has nothing to do with creativity. Show me a perfect human being!
This zealous pursuit of perfection minimizes any joy in what you accomplish because it is never enough. That inner voice, the task master doesn’t allow your body to relax, take breaks or binge on Netflix if you need to.
Perfectionism is a forced-march mindset that has no time for your authentic self. It doesn’t allow for creative process or discovery. It is results driven.
Creativity is passion, play, focus, risk-taking and losing yourself in your work. It is the expression of soul that longs to be realized, seen and experienced and cherished.
Let’s play what if! What if you unload the burden of perfection and pursue excellence, allowing your messy creativity to thrive? What if you treat mistakes like a no-big-deal part of problem-solving? You create space to rearrange your mental furniture to make room for possibility!
The little kid in the sandbox dragging her shovel & making sounds, is not thinking about perfection! She’s too busy building highways and super structures, delighting in her world-building imagination!
In this creative journey, there is one thing asked of you: Trust. Trust the process. Trust yourself. Unbolt the door and let your free-range imagination roam. Be the kid in the sandbox!
Creativity is a tapestry woven with threads of imperfection.Those jangled flaws and mistakes are bold explorations, a patchwork quilt of unique expression- a soul daring to be who she is.”
